*ranting mode on*

I hate that shelter. It's been almost a month since I got out of that damn prison, but my mom and little sister are still there. It's been 7 weeks and they can't take it anymore. New rules are being added when they pleased, restraining my mom even more. She began saying that the shelter or her ex boyfriend wasn't any different. Fuck that shit. I want to help her but find myself useless. Now I can't even video chat anymore. This was this week new fucking rule. I need to talk to my mom to make sure she is alright and I can't anymore. I'm pissed. You got no idea! This is the kind of situation that makes me violent once more. I want to crush them and make them suffer like they are slowly destroying my only family away.

I discovered so many awful things lately, died a bit inside, crawled to not drown. Lost a part of my soul, now it seems the world still have more to lay down on me. Fuck, attack me, I don't fucking care, but don't you dare lay a finger on my family. Like ever. And yet that's all the news I get recently, found out the truth about my father. All the damage he has done to my mom, how he ruined her, how he could had ruined me if my mom hadn't run away then. That man who gave me life in one of the most awful fashion ever. Torturing the soul of a 18 years old girl. Yes if that wasn't clear he raped my mom, beat her up when she was pregnant and he is the biggest fucking asshole on earth. I don't usually wish anyone to suffer, but I swear I wish all the misery to that man called a father. My mom denounced the rape, he might go to prison, I don't give a shit, I won't be the one to save him. Because of him my mom is broken, always were, I never fucking knew it, and I though I knew everything about her. It makes me sick that she felt the need to hide it when I am her only confident she trust in the world. She hid it for 20 fucking years. She always called me her little miracle and told me how I saved her life, how she is still living today because I'm there. A normal human would be ashamed to keep such a flagrant evidence of a rape and love it. But she is the best mom in the world and FUCK she is suffering and I can't do shit about it. Because Richard(my father) broke my mom, she found herself filthy and always made bad choices in men. It's all a chain reaction and in the end it's because of him she is such in deep shit. That man, who destroyed my family, the indestroyable bound between my mom and uncle, broken, because of him. And now I am crying all the rain on earth. Because I am not there for her now, when she needs me the most. I am not the miracle she needs right now, not the light to guide her again. I am powerless, facing disarray I wished I never did. We were made strong, but I never though we were that broken.